A Sordid HNT

Let me preface this by saying there are certain things that you have no control over. I realize this. I don't like it, but I live with it.

My day was uneventful. Work was boring and completely quiet so when the evening rolled around, I decided to meander up to Friday's for a cold one. I was well into my second beer when Kajagoogoo's "Too Shy" came on the juke box. The bar was thumping with "Too shy dee shy, hush, hush, Heidi's sly..." or some crap like that when there was a sudden rumble and BOOM! Seymour escapes from his "cage." He reaches up and grabs the pretty little bartender by the collar of her shirt and screams in her face "Hawaiian Volcano! Hawaiian Volcano! C'mon, fucker, make me a Hawaiian Volcano!"

I was mortified. I had forgotten that Kajagoogoo for Seymour was like spinach for Popeye. I eased back in my chair a bit to give him a little room, aware that there was no predicting Seymour's behavior when the dulcet sounds of "Too Shy" are banging in his ears. That, and I didn't want to get spit on either.

The bartender brings this Hawaiian Volcano concoction to Seymour and slowly backs away. Seymour eyed her for a second and then said very softly "I like the cut of her jib." Whatever that means. He grabbed the monstrous goblet that contained the drink, drank half of the pink libation in one gulp and then quickly passed out. I managed to snap this picture before the management asked me to "take the damn sock outside, we don't serve that kind."
I was so embarrassed.

Happy HNT.